48-year-old man says he has grown resentful of his 47-year-old stay-at-home wife over the years: 'I’ve tried to ask my wife if we can go on a date, and she says she’d like that but then her schedule is never free’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 30, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Since when has the internet become our confessional box?

I guess since the internet started, but it's nonetheless interesting to watch. People would much rather tell their deepest secrets to a stranger online than to a friend, a therapist, or whomever they're having an issue with. There is just something about telling secrets to a stranger, right? And that something is the lack of implication that person has in the details of our lives, or the lack of capacity to directly affect the framework of our lives, that lets us feel free. To me, taking the first step of telling our problems to a few strangers before we act on them is a good one. The thing about the internet is that, to me at least, it can always lead back to you, plus it stays there for ages. It's not like words in a therapist's office or in a confessional box that go with the wind.

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  • man crossing his arms beside a woman
    via Fotos

    The husband feeling resentful

    Subjects are models

     

  • I’m getting resentful of my stay-at-home wife

    My48M wife47F were college sweethearts. Our eldest was a whoopsie baby right after we graduated, but we were happy to get married. We decided that she would be a stay-at-home wife and
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  • mom, and raise the kids while I worked. We're very lucky that a family friend gave me work at his company, and I worked my way up over the years, and am able to hold a very senior position now. The owner (my dad's friend
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • and basically an uncle to me) even hinted he might give me his position when he retires, but that's not a long way off if ever. He's more the type to work till his last days. Things in my life have
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  • gone really well. We raised two kids who have now both left the home. We are close to both our families. Although my wife was a stay-at-home mom, we did have a cleaner who came to the house twice a week, and a gardener who
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • came a few times a month to keep things neat. I also wanted to be present as a father. I read to my kids before bed, I helped them. with homework, I took them out every other Saturday or Sunday so my wife could have her free
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  • time and see friends and do her own things. We have a shared bank account, as well as our own accounts for fun money. I give my wife an allowance every month deposited into her own account and bills etc are
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  • paid from the join account which is where the majority of our money is. All that to say I think we had, and continue to have, a good life. But as the kids got older, my wife got more time to
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  • herself, and because of my promotions i actually do less work now than the first ten years of our marriage. I thought this meant we could spend more time as a couple, maybe go on a few trips just us two. But my wife is
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • always too busy with her own things. She's part of this charity group of other women around her age, they host events like fundraisers and things. She's also started this type of yoga they do in a really hot room. I asked to join
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  • her once but she just laughed and said I wouldn't last 5 minutes. I do have my own friends who I play golf with. But other than when we're hosting friends, or at another friend's party, I don't think I actually spend
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  • person using computer
    via charles deluvio

    The man sharing his story

    Image is representative

  • time with my wife outside of going to bed. I've also tried to initiates, but our bedroom is pretty much de d. I've tried to ask my wife if we can go on a date, and she says she'd like that but
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • then her schedule is never free. I end up feeling as if I'm a whiney baby asking for some attention. It's starting to make me feel a bit resentful. I don't hate my wife, but aren't we just roommates now? I know people might suggest
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • marriage counseling but I don't want some stranger poking their nose into our business. I feel like I've done everything I could for my family, for years, and now I don't know what any more
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  • TTYY200 Tell her what you told us broski. She's not a child and neither are you... sounds like the line of communication is cut off. Yall gotta talk.
    via Cultural-Plantain435
  • Bonegirl06 This is a very common phenomenon among empty nesters, and why divorce is also common at this stage of life. You need to find a way to tell her what you said here. She probably has
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  • no idea you feel so disconnected because you've built a life around this being the norm.
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  • ZeAlien07 "I don't want some stranger poking their nose in our business" is Reddit? Lol
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  • man discussing with woman
    via Afif Ramdhasuma

    The couple trying to talk about it

    Subjects are models

  • That said, I think this issue is precisely about how this person can’t seem to bring it up to the right people. He obviously has to talk about this with his wife, and not expect her to read his mind and just act the way he wants her to. Also, relationships change through time, especially those that involve children and are long-term; one should always try to reevaluate where the partnership’s at from time to time. One can’t expect things to just naturally flow where one wants them to; it’s just unrealistic and entitled behaviour.



     

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relationship advice marriage marriage drama relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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